Pear. (with preamble)

I first put this drawing up when I was deadly bored during exams. I took it down soon after because I decided it was lame. I guess it is a bit lame.

A friend tonight said she liked it so I'm putting it up again.

I have been given confidence, enough wine...

...and it's my own freaking awful blog to post whatever I damn well choose.

So I will.

Hush, or the faeries will eat you.

LOVE x

The Music.

[^PLAY THIS^, and if you like it, you should have a read further down...]

So.

Exams have been a horrible mess so far. They're been difficult, draining bastards. All of them. 

They've left me so down in the dumps that all I want to do is fall into a bed of ice cream a caramel sadness. My head is so scrambled and I'm even beginning to question my compatibility to a scientist lifestyle. 

After three and a half years of hard work at university, this is a terrifying thought (and debt) to behold. 

All I can say is...

thank you music.

I know I often go on and on about music to the point of obsession but I'm not apologising for it. I used to, but not any more. If I can give even one person the gift of feeling the joy that I feel from the music I am sharing....listening to an artist you love give their heart and soul to you in musical form and having that pure moment of mutual auditory understanding...

one line making your heart twist like a vice in your chest.

the next making you smile broadly and shamelessly; 

the sort of smile you don't do in public because it makes you look borderline psychotic.

that feeling cannot be replicated by anything else.

pure musical love.

I would take a million haters mildly annoyed by my links and enthusiasm for ONE person to get to have that feeling. 

***

...that being said.

This girl has done that for me this week. Not only are  Heather Christian and the Arbornauts drumming up support and admiration from some seriously HUGE musical names (*ahem*Amanda Fucking Palmer*ahem*Sia*ahem*), but people from all around the world are falling for her beautiful music (me included).

I am no music reviewer...but you know the heart twisty thing and the maniacal grinning that I was talking about earlier? Yeah, that happens an awful lot when I listen to them.

Firstly, Heather Christian and the Arbornauts' debut album is TO DIE FOR. (see at top or the post if you're not playing already) and her kickstarter is an amazing feat of independent musicians spreading the love and celebrating the love they receive back. At the moment Heather doesn't have a piano because she had to sell her old one to make her last record. That means no new music...which is a tragedy. 

Heather hasn't yet reached her target amount on kickstarter, which means she won't get ANY of our money at the if she still hasn't by the end of the month...so please, if you even have a few dollars to spend, spend it here so she can reach her goal. I really want my pledged money to get to her and I can vouch for her awesomeness. 

Have a watch, read and listen and BACK THE KISCKSTARTER. You won't regret it, I promise you. 

Love to you all. x

Days.

I love snails. 

I let them crawl up and down my arms as a child 

I giggled when they tickled me.

My Grandmother boiled them.*

I remember them bubbling and swelling in the water.

They slowly tore away from their shells 

There they floated, dead and exposed to the world.

I tried to keep them safe,

like a friend keeping a secret.

Crunch.

My heart breaks when I unexpectedly break their houses with my clumsy feet.

The squelch reminds me of their slippery, fragile bodies.

Reminiscent of how much joy they used to give me,  

I feel like I've betrayed them every time it happens.

Poor snails.

*I really love my grandmother. Don't judge her. Snails are just the bane of her existence.

Trout Heart Replica.

This song has been swimming around my head for weeks. It's inspired me to try going vegan again after exams...or at least, guilt has convinced me to do it. 


For those who didn't back Amanda Palmer's Kickstarter, it's going to be on her next album Theatre is Evil. It's being released in September and you should DEFINITELY check it out.


I drew this while attempting to bash maths into my brain. The idea was fish trapped and swimming to infinity. I kind of like the idea...imagine if someone with some actual artisic ability drew it?! 


I would love to learn print making and do this properly. Maybe one day...  

 

So yeah. It's pretty fucking great.

***

I got a tumblr today pretty much solely to follow this: 


Sketchbook Story Time. 


...and to post more pictures of my cat on the internet. The internet needs more cats I tell you!


Sad...but beautiful. My favourite post is Jerk Teddybear. 




I'm not sold on the idea of tumblr, mainly because I've only seen it being used by my sisters to reblog thinspiration photos and other ridiculous things...so any other recommendations would be welcome. I'm going to have a lot of time to myself in two weeks and what better way to use it then find cool shit on the internet...right?


This is mine! 


Salty Stockings.


I called it that because I like alliterations and swimming with stockings on. If you'd never tried it, you must. It changes your life. Plus, it sounds hip enough, right? I'm going to fit in really well.


I don't know how it works really yet...I'll figure it out after these godawful exams and inevitably become addicted to it as I am with all other social networking sites. Such is life.


LOVE x

Fiona Apple.

Fiona Apple’s first album in seven years is being released next week and I feel compelled to write this.  
So I am.

I have no idea how I came to know of her...I think I stumbled across her Myspace (sigh...Myspace...) back in 2006, just as after Extraordinary Machine had been released. I’m not even sure if I listened to any of her songs posted up there upon first glance. Regardless, a couple of months or so after that I was being dropped home by Emily, a friend from work and she was playing Extraordinary Machine. I knew that because I recognised the album art. I mentioned her and she told me about her long hiatus between albums, her OCD and everything else she could squeeze into a 5 minute car ride. I was intruigued by her oddities and as an angst-ridden teenager who liked to think I had some of her own problems, she was a perfect role model.

So the love affair began. She seemed just as angry at the world around her as I was but she was turning that pain and spite into heartfelt, fantastic art. I flew her songs like some kind of like a musical barrier and stood behind it, protecting myself from all the shit-slingers and my own crippling fear and doubt. High school was fun, hey?

Though not as frequently, I still often listen to Fiona’s music. She’s like an old friend I can go back to for advice or strength. I find something new in her cryptic lyrics and complex melodies upon every listen. She has always been brutally honest about the dark cracks of her past and present in interviews and her honestly flows into her songwriting. This, along with her undeniable musical talent has earned her an army of dedicated, loving fans. She stands alone in the quizzical world of popular music, proving that an artist shouldn't churn out a shitty, uninspired album every year just to keep a fan base. You have to fucking feel it.  

The last thing I remember seeing of her:

I haven’t seen anything from her since then. She looked healthy there too. After seeing that interview I would’ve been content if she’d never written another album because (as she said) it’d mean she was happy and off having fun. With her new album release, I suppose happiness is not the case.

I’m not going into the grief she’s been put through by her label (google “Free Fiona” and read her recent NY Times article HERE) or anything else otherwise this post will actually go on forever.  I just wanted to say good and bad, her music opened me up to a whole new world and moulded me into who I am. I am forever grateful to her.  

After six years of being a fan, this is the first of her albums that I'm actually witnessing the release of. It is a strange, exciting feeling. 

So here’s the new stuff.

Flowers.

I like to draw flowers when I am between thoughts. I guess some people would call it a bad habit. They sometimes fill the margin of my page in lecture notes and assignment drafts. The ones I drew today are particularly well detailed however, which is rather indicative exactly how much procrastination has taken place. I really need this fortnight to be over. I am so tired.

But yay! Flowers! I think I will get some real ones for my room tomorrow. Study may be more bearable with their faces smiling at me.

Lead Balloon.

Dear Lead Balloon,
This is your final eviction notice.
You wrapped yourself around my wrist so many years ago and pulled me down. I cannot remember a time when it didn't feel as though I was falling.
Your string found its way down my arm and into my chest. You tug and strangle my heartstrings, cutting off my love affairs with a single motion, leaving me alone, bruised and hurting.
You moved through my arteries and lodged yourself in my brain. You've lived there ever since, leaving dirty dishes in my cerebellum and whispering doubtful nothings in my auditory canal.
I was not aware of you for years. I thought the clutter and the doubt was my own but I am old enough to know better now. I need you to let me let you go.

Brain.

This is what my brain feels like right now.
Full of fish.
There isn't actually any fish in it so it is a lot less exciting.
If there was then I would like looking in mirrors a lot more than I do.
I would be my very own screensaver like the ones on company computers sometimes.
There isn't.
It feels like it though.
How disappointing.

Heart.

I woke from the strangest dream yesterday.  I remember it being very long and convoluted but within even the first few minutes of conciousness, what had occurred started to trickle out of my mind.  I then had to rush off to work so I couldn't write it down until now...

I cannot remember the exact reason for my actions...maybe there wasn't one. All I remember is ripping open my chest and scooping out my heart. There was no ribcage to stop my fingers and I felt no pain. Then again, I don't think I've ever caused myself physical pain in a dream. Can you even do that? I don't know. Dreams are weird. I digress.

As soon as I somehow pulled away the arteries I realised what I had done. Before this I was merely curious as to what would happen. After this shock, I seemed to just wander about attempting to seek help. All my attempts were in vain...I was trapped for a while in a broken elevator and yelled up to a lady lying atop a tree who was unable to hear me, constantly aware of my lack of heartbeat.

Finally, I just placed it back inside my chest, devoid of any beat and waited for the inevitable. It was not the best nights sleep I have had. It is why I am not asleep now.